‘Thoughts and Prayers’

 Again another tragedy. While most of us shake our heads and cry for those affected we find ourselves at a loss. So we give a version of  “I am so sorry for your loss,”. "You are in our thoughts and prayers". To some this is nothing more than a "I'm sorry for your loss" to others who believe in a higher power it is a powerful tool. Either way it is said out of something called empathy. Although most of us cannot even begin to understand what exactly people of a tragedy are feeling we are able to imagine their suffering and fear and to wonder how we would react in their place. It is called being compassionate.

The mocking of course starts right away. "Your thoughts and prayers are not enough!" This mocking only displays that persons lack of understanding. When people say "Thoughts and Prayers" they are reaching beyond themselves to offer some relief. Often, at the time it is the most someone can do. Especially if the tragedy is not happening in front of someone but is rather being reported from a far off location. 

When we are confronted with suffering, everybody uses familiar phrases and behaviors. They help us get through the hardest of times. When your friend tells you about their divorce. Your co-worker received bad medical news. A death or a national tragedy. It's not the words that you use that are extremely important, it is your acknowledgement and empathy that are. It is a way of showing solidarity with those who suffer.

For those who think action should be taken instead of words of compassion are denying those who cannot do anything, especially in the wake of a tragedy of expressing their compassion and empathy. Maybe those who want to deny others from expressing themselves should try practicing some compassion, empathy and grace themselves. We need more of it.  

 

FREE ADVICE

During the last election I had someone confront me about my support for a certain candidate. This exchange happened where all good debates happen, on social media. Now I have never announced who I was going to vote for in public. Never had, never will. I have also never announced my support for a certain political party. They just made a assumption.

Yes my political opinion may lean one way and I'm sure most can tell which way it leans. But unlike so many I do not support a certain party. Never have, never will. They are both corrupt and I would not allow my name to be associated with either one. This has allowed me to look at all sides and to make decisions separate from what one party may support. 

Besides, I think it is unwise to get behind one party. Your thinking becomes monolithic and your thoughts are never challenged. You become locked into a prison of ideas. Never to explore other thoughts no matter how educated or open minded you may think you are. You are stuck supporting every idea like a sports fan supporting his favorite team. No matter how bad they play or even cheat you will support, cheer on and buy your team's merchandise. I also think the idolization of political figures like Trump and Ruth Bader Ginsburg is gross at best. They are our employees not superstars.   

Since I do not identify with a team I have not allowed any team to help form my personality. You will not find a blue wave on my profile or a MAGA hat on my head. No bumper sticker or profile frame  I don't define who I am because of some party and their beliefs and I most definitely do not allow people who belong to an opposing viewpoint to define who I am and what I am not because of their beliefs. I am like David S. Pumpkins, I am my own thing. 

When you become a fan of one party or "team" you are willing to support whomever they put in front of you. It is also why people were so quickly to jump to the conclusion that since I lean one way that I must support the candidate that leads that party. I can see why most would come to that conclusion. Because that is what they do. I do not. I will not sign my name to someone I do not believe in. I've even voted third party! Wild I know.  

Another reason why I do not share publicly who I support is I do not believe random advise about who or what to support is extremely helpful. In fact its probably more harmful. Nobody should vote a certain way just because a friend or relative tells them they should. I know there are families who will print out the names of all the proper politicians and pass them around. No, I want people to choose who they vote for by forming a educated opinion. Not to just get the win and defeat the other "side".  Plus choosing sides also means you are creating a divide. If you have chosen a side YOU are contributing to the division. You have set up a winner and looser situation. I want us all to win. 

Now this is where the problem comes in because I guess I'm weird for not just yelling "GO TEAM". I may just be a clown in the eyes of most but I'm smart enough to know that there are reasons why someone else might see the world differently than I do. Life experience, social status, economic status and many more reasons can come into play as to why someone may vote differently. (Although I believe usually it's the blindness of belonging to a team) Because of this I also don't see someone who may vote differently as evil like so many do. Remember when we used to love diversity of thought? I do and I am always willing to discuss what I know and also learn what others know. But sadly no one seems to want to be apart of that. No real discussion of ideas. Hear mine not yours. Just go for the win. "GO TEAM"

So if I won't dish out political advice I most certainly will not give out medical advice. I believe doing so is not only dangerous but very irresponsible unless of course you are a medical professional. Even if you are I don't think you should be randomly advising people on social media. But again so many people are willing to do just that. "Stop being selfish, get the jab!" I wonder how many people who yell about getting the vaccine would have claimed a year ago that your medical decisions should be up to the individual and their doctor. I wonder how many have moved so far they are okay with the mandates that prevent everyday citizens from participating in society. But today it is so common place to belittle someone about not getting "the shot" that I cannot read the comments on my favorite travel website without seeing someone being attacked over the vaccine. A place I used to go for light hearted conversations about destinations. 

A great example of the dangers is when people jumped on the anti Hydroxychloroquine bandwagon because of their political beliefs. Not science. Well, they claim it's science but they get their science from political figures and not from the CDC website or researchers at the Henry Ford Health System who found the drug to be somewhat effective. So now the keyboard experts on social media keep handing out medical advice. I will bet that most cannot name a country where Hydroxychloroquine was available over the counter. I'll bet they didn't know it was a over the counter drug in many countries! They just saw their favorite politicians blocking it's use. Political figures stopped doctors from using a trusted readily available drug because of politics. A drug that although may not have been a cure seemed to help at least some patients. But hey, "SCIENCE." 

Now we have people upset at the fact the there are those who are hesitant on getting the vaccine. I wonder why. Our politicians and media are the ones to blame. Both parties have claimed they would not trust a vaccine developed under the control of the other party. This includes the current president and vice president. (who are now trying to get people to take the very same vaccine) Go watch video clips from last year and see all the concern about a rushed vaccine. In researching for this blog post I watched the hosts of KTLA in Los Angeles talk about their concerns over a vaccine. (June 2020) We have the CDC lie to us from the beginning about mask use. Why, because they felt they needed to in order to get us to do what was needed. They didn't trust us. Now you have the CDC changing the definition of vaccine.  What the?! Then add the fact that according Pew Research only 20% of the population trusts the government to "do the right thing". No wonder people are afraid to get "the jab". They misinform us, lie to us, and if you even suggest you want to wait and do research, well. just ask Niciki Minaj.

Speaking of being hesitant against the vaccine, it is very high in the African american community. The fact is less African Americans have received the vaccine than whites, Asians and Hispanics. (as of Oct 2021) Why? Look up the Tuskegee experiments. We have also been telling them the whole system is racist for years and it was amplified 10 fold in the months leading up to the release of the vaccine. Now we ask them to trust the injection we want to put in them? I laugh when people make fun at others for being hesitant.   

 

But we have all chosen a side and do not question anything. We just start yelling what "our side" is telling us to yell without thought. Well, most of you do. I sit back and laugh at how ridiculous you all look because you jump on every bandwagon. I know who is going to share the trending hashtag and pretend that they have been a champion for that cause all along and within the week never share about it again. 

So how about this. Slow down. Learn some facts. Wait for more information to come out. Early reports are usually wrong. Wait until the trial. Don't join the witch hunt. Listen to the "other" side. Watch an alternative news source. Research before you post. Learn the subject well enough to educate others and learn how to defend your position without name calling. But most of all if nothing else, it is NOT your job to tell others how to live their life. Not even during a pandemic. Stop fighting with strangers and check in with the family on the couch next to you. Reach out to people you actually know. Support them and love them. As mother Teresa said, “The way you help heal the world is that you start with your own family.” But more than that, nobody asked for your opinion anyway. 

WEAR THE DAMN MASK!

     I have a question for those who seem to like yelling WEAR THE DAMN MASK! Who are you yelling at? Starting in the middle of July Walmart, Kroger, and Kohl's all started requiring customers to wear face protection. CVS and Walgreens started July 20th and Publix started July 21st. Sam's club, Best Buy and Starbucks all followed close behind. Costco and Apple stores had required them since May. These policies by major retailers then pushed smaller local businesses to follow suit and require face masks. Nearly all businesses and public places required you to wear a mask by August first. In fact at the time Target implemented their policy 80% of their stores already had face covering policies because of local ordinances. Below is a list of all the states that had some form of mask mandate in place by the time the major retailers announced. Of course since then almost all other states do require face masks.  

     New Jersey (April 8), Hawaii & New York (April 17), Maryland (April 18), Connecticut (April 20), Delaware (April 28), Illinois (April 30), Maine (May 1), Rhode Island (May 8), New Mexico (May 15),  Massachusetts (May 26), Virginia (May 29), Michigan (June 17), California (June 18), Nevada & North Carolina (June 24), Washington (June 26), Oregon & Pennsylvania (July 1), Kansas & Texas (July 3), West Virginia (July 7), Ohio (July 8), Kentucky (July 9), Louisiana (July 13), Alabama &Arkansas & Colorado (July 16)

     In a July 17th article posted in The New York Times they found that in several national surveys at the time found around 80 percent of Americans say they wear masks frequently or always when they expect to be within six feet of other people. This was before most places required you to! The number at the time was short of the universal masking public health officials have asked for, but it was higher than the rates of mask use in several other countries, including Canada, Finland and Denmark. Still the mask police were on social media yelling about how selfish Americans are.

    A article in Men's Health from October 8th states the state with the lowest mask wearing was Wyoming at 65.6. I guess maybe we are yelling at them? Most states have over 80% compliance and many have a compliance rate of 90% or better. Massachusetts is the state with the highest number of people wearing masks, at 94.87%  This is followed by Maryland (94.18 percent), Rhode Island (93.5 percent), Connecticut (93.45 percent), and Vermont (93.31 percent). It seems to me we are doing really well at covering our faces. So who are we yelling at?

     The truth is it isn't about making someone wear a mask it's about the person doing the yelling. Sure some feel really helpless and this is a way for them to feel like they are doing something to help in this pandemic. But really, just like practically every post on social media it is to fill us with self importance. To see the likes and comments of agreement. I mean you have well over 80% or more of the population in agreement. Plus we tend to surround ourselves with only like minded people on our social media anyway. So keep on yelling WEAR THE DAMN MASK! so those likes just roll on in. I can feel that endorphin rush already. 

Do Not Do Outrage

     In the last few days I found myself reading a post where someone was outraged. I know I'm shocked! Another scam, another lie, however you want to look at it. It is really just another way to be outraged. Since I am a fact driven person I always believe if I just point out the actual facts using data and explain where it comes from the person posting would have to acknowledge that their statement wasn't completely true. I thought long and hard before posting because I am not interested in a fight. A debate would be okay, after all...facts, but I do not want to engage in any argument. My facts were brushed off so I followed with more. That was followed by a change of argument. I posted back that that was not relevant to the original complaint and that once again the facts stand. There was no reply so I let the conversation end there.

     At lunch I received a notification that someone else posted on the conversation so I checked it out and guess what...all my comments have been deleted! Yes, my facts, provable mathematical facts had been deleted. I cannot venture to guess why my posts were removed as that would be judging. (Real judging is assigning a motive to a action without knowing what that motive is) But what did remain was more outrage. The comments that followed showed even more outrage as all the like thinking people enjoyed taking their usual positions. 

     I'm not telling you this so I can brag about my awesome factual points, although it was awesome. What caught my attention was that this person would rather be mad and outraged than even take into account the information I was providing. In fact in looking back, outrage is all I see. Social media posts have turned into nothing but angry posts about the latest outrage. What happened with the Covington School kids is a great example. I woke up and looked at my Facebook only to see everyone so outraged about these kids. (The things people called these kids was unbelievable) I looked at a few videos and within 10 minutes I knew there was more to the story and decided I needed to wait for more information before forming an opinion about it. 

     In 1979 "The Logical Song" was picked as Paul McCartney's favorite song and I think that a lot of it still rings true to this day. "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful" sang Roger Hodgson. "But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible, Logical, oh responsible, practical" He went on to sing about how they made him dependable. All very good things. But then it takes a turn. "I said, watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical, Liberal, oh fanatical, criminal." Then worse yet, "Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel your acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!" 

     I think we have fallen into the later part of the song only we are the one's who want to make sure that your acceptable, respectable and presentable. We feel we need to right every wrong by posting about how WE believe this is a travesty. The sad part is we have not formed our own opinions. We have become Pavlov's dog jumping on every outrageous injustice. We somehow believe our yelling helps. But it only adds. It helps light fires you don't always see. Instead of being a positive light we throw fuel on the flames and if you don't agree, well then. your just not acceptable.

     We signed our name to a team that makes us feel acceptable but we really are bunch of vegetables. We follow the orders and react without thought of our actions. You can't keep that up. You cannot react and scream about everything we see that is wrong. It would be a full time job and for so many it has turned into one. So many of the people I know on Facebook post more news articles and political memes than they do about their friends or family. Boy I wish I would see a huge burger post again! 

        "The Logical Song" also has the lyrics, "But at night, when all the worlds asleep, The questions run so deep, For such a simple man. Won't you please tell me what I've learned, I know it sounds absurd, PLEASE TELL ME WHO I AM" I think we have lost who we are. So many of us have become Grandpa Simpson yelling and complaining about everything and we don't even see it. We don't even realize what we have become. We believe yelling wins an argument over debate. We believe only our answer is the answer. We scream about compassion while screaming shows none. We step on others while claiming to love all. All because we love the rush, the acceptance, and the superiority of the outrage. 

     Join me, and lets stop the outrage. Leave your team. Discover yourself. Get to know YOU! Break the chains and be a leader. So many are living in the dark, be a shinning light. Teach what you know and learn what you don't. Hold each other up. Listen more than you talk. Do these simple things and maybe just maybe you will notice "the birds in the tree's well they'd be singing so happily, oh, joyfully watching" you.   

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Trump's Effect

     Over the past few days social media is again ablaze with outrage. This time it's over how some teen boys reacted to...well you know. This post is not related to this one incident.

     I really don't even know where to start with this as I cannot even understand where we are as a country. In fact I just wrote a bunch of stuff and then backed up and started here again. I think the thing I struggle the most is with judgement. Although I have had many non Christians try to tell me that the Bible says not to judge that just simply is not true. By the way, instead of just repeating what others have said, try to study the Bible before you use it to argue against someone. You wouldn't argue with a architect without understanding something about architecture would you? Good. Hopefully I just saved you from looking like a fool. The Bible does tell us to judge but here is what so many get wrong about judgement. Judging someone's actions are fine and good. Judging someone's heart is wrong. In other words, someone steals bread. Wrong. Someone steals bread to feed his family? His actions are still wrong even if his heart was in the right place, and the worst judgement is when you assign the motive to their actions without knowing what it was. 

     Today everyone seems to know the heart of everyone else. Sometimes actions may look like one thing but where their heart is, is another. I find it mind blowing that everyone seems to know, without question, the heart of others. Because they are so sure they then feel justified in calling out, shaming and even destroying said person. In fact we have become so effective at discerning someone's heart that we need not be present. We need not know those involved. We need not know anyone who was present. We need not do any research. We just need to be told by our like thinking friends, news source, websites, and social media what to be outraged about and then we pick up our pitch forks and post!

     The worst part about Trump's being elected is how we have reacted to his presidency. I have watched people I used to think were great, fine, smart individuals turn into the most hateful, angry, mean spirited people. Before you say, "Hey Timo! Are you judging?" Yes, I'm judging actions. I have watched these people take down others, some longtime friends. I have listened to and read posts that are so full of hatred for others for simply having another point of view. Everyday full of outrage and bitterness. I myself have been the focal point of these attacks. I was even attacked for suggesting we take a break from politics. How dare me! 

     I have watched and I cry for my children as I think is this what we really want to leave them? Is this what we want to model for them? I for one do not. So I do not engage in this childlike behavior. I sit back and take notes. Trump will be out of office someday and his role in my life and yours will be gone. I will forget about Trump, but I will not forget the actions of those I know. I will not forget how I witnessed you treat others. How you judged the heart of others. The names you used. How you behaved. I know you feel justified. I know you feel as your fighting the good fight, but there is no nobility in taking someone down to elevate another. I will be judging, your character, and the true effect of Trump's presidency is that it will take me a lot longer to get over and forget your actions than those of the president.

Tim Olson

www.timolson.info

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LOVE? - Is giving bad?

     I keep hearing that love MUST win.  If this is the case, I believe we need to start acting like it. I have decided to start a series of blog posts asking LOVE? because I have trouble seeing LOVE in the actions of some.

     President Donald Trump just gave $1,000,000 of HIS money to the victims of Hurricane Harvey. Soon after I see tweets and stories about how "little" he gave. Right away I looked up to see how much Obama gave so I could argue back. But then I realized I was falling for the trap. I'm not here to defend Trump although that's how this is going to read. (who I support and vote for does not matter in this story) I am here to stand for LOVE. Where is the LOVE? I did not know there was a test as to how much you have to give for your gift to be appreciated. If there is I wonder if I pass. Where do I send in the documents and who runs the numbers and decides how much is enough? You see there isn't. It's not up to you or me to decided what is right for others to do. These posts and complaints come from people who are so blinded by HATE that they cannot see the LOVE. 

     If I was running a table with a can for donations and someone donated one dollar, I would be thankful that they opened their heart to help. If someone gave ten dollars I would be thankful. As each person walked by and dropped their donation into the can I would say thank you. Now walks by Mr Big Money and I know he is worth a lot. I just saw him pull up in a BMW. He drops a large donation into the can. biggest one I've seen today. I now have a choice. I can look at him and tell him he's a jerk because I know he could give more or I could thank him and think about all the good that amount of money is going to do. 

     See, the problem with this situation isn't Mr. Big Money. It's with me! The individual. I could JUDGE him but I didn't do that to the other people who walked past. For all I know someone who didn't donate may even have more money than him, I don't know. Someone may have giving a larger percentage if their income. I don't know.  But my personal feeling for the man stomped on my heart and will not allow me to see the good that man just did. 

     One definition of love is the concern for the good of another. So, do you LOVE the victims of Hurricane Harvey or do you hate Trump more? I for one will stand up and cheer for ANYONE who does ANYTHING to help the people who need help. I will not criticize the effort no matter how big or small and I most certainly will not criticize their efforts over something as foolish as political points of view. In times like this it's not suppose to be us against them. It's 330 million individuals who need to stand together and forget about differences and parties for a while and contribute to our society instead of filling it full of vile words and HATE. 

     I for one LOVE those who have been hurt by Hurricane Harvey and I even LOVE those who are so full of HATE that they cannot let it go for even one minute. It's my LOVE for you that makes me write this today in hopes that maybe, just maybe you won't try to justify your anger but to take that energy and make it into something productive and useful. You don't need to praise Mr. Big Money, but you do need to practice tolerance and not HATE and let LOVE be the action you take today.

Police Lives Matter

     This morning here in Fargo we had an incident where a man sat in his car in a church parking lot.  That in it's self is not a problem but he was threatening to kill himself. Before to long the police, sheriffs department, fire and ambulance were all on the scene.  For two hours the police talked with the man trying to talk him down.  Trying to save his life.  The man how ever could not be saved and he finally pulled the trigger of the rifle that he had in the vehicle with him.

     In the last year we have seen the police criticized and all of their actions criticized.  The fact is that over 99% of all arrests are made with no incident.  The police must act with the knowledge of a lawyer, act as a paramedic, be diplomatic, handle the intoxicated, the stubborn, settle disputes and uphold the integrity of the uniform while doing it. They are our protectors and run towards trouble while we run away.

     I do not know the details of the suicide today but I think that it is safe to assume that several officers witnessed this man take his own life today.  The effects of that act would haunt most anyone yet this is the type of thing our officers see all the time.  They see the terrible things we are capable of and yet are expected to be perfect.  My heart goes out to those officers who witnessed that today.  I hope they don't suffer with the guilt that may run around in their mind asking questions about if they said the right thing or not.

     Our officers need our prayers not our hatred.  Are there bad cops.  Sure.  There are bad doctors, mayors and teachers.  But most cops are good and we need to quit blaming all police officers for the actions of a very few.  God bless our protectors and God bless their families who loan us their loved ones to keep us safe.        

Love and Grace

Friday.

The work week is done. I'm glad.

As usual I'm bothered by all the hate and division between us. All that negativity sucks the life out of this glass half full guy. It does not matter what your position is on a subject, encouraging and celebrating others misfortune or destruction is disgusting. When we see someone who is given lemons try to make lemonade we no longer applaud them when they do. We hope they add salt instead of sugar just so we can... I don't know feel better about ourselves. I know, I've been guilty of it too. I do not know what it will take but I hope we can return to a time where we start treating each other with love. Love does not mean you accept and agree with everything someone says or does. What it does mean is that you show them grace no matter what faults they may have because, yes, we all are imperfect and need a love full of grace. I hope we can all find that grace in our hearts and lift each other up instead of cheering for destruction.