WEAR THE DAMN MASK!

     I have a question for those who seem to like yelling WEAR THE DAMN MASK! Who are you yelling at? Starting in the middle of July Walmart, Kroger, and Kohl's all started requiring customers to wear face protection. CVS and Walgreens started July 20th and Publix started July 21st. Sam's club, Best Buy and Starbucks all followed close behind. Costco and Apple stores had required them since May. These policies by major retailers then pushed smaller local businesses to follow suit and require face masks. Nearly all businesses and public places required you to wear a mask by August first. In fact at the time Target implemented their policy 80% of their stores already had face covering policies because of local ordinances. Below is a list of all the states that had some form of mask mandate in place by the time the major retailers announced. Of course since then almost all other states do require face masks.  

     New Jersey (April 8), Hawaii & New York (April 17), Maryland (April 18), Connecticut (April 20), Delaware (April 28), Illinois (April 30), Maine (May 1), Rhode Island (May 8), New Mexico (May 15),  Massachusetts (May 26), Virginia (May 29), Michigan (June 17), California (June 18), Nevada & North Carolina (June 24), Washington (June 26), Oregon & Pennsylvania (July 1), Kansas & Texas (July 3), West Virginia (July 7), Ohio (July 8), Kentucky (July 9), Louisiana (July 13), Alabama &Arkansas & Colorado (July 16)

     In a July 17th article posted in The New York Times they found that in several national surveys at the time found around 80 percent of Americans say they wear masks frequently or always when they expect to be within six feet of other people. This was before most places required you to! The number at the time was short of the universal masking public health officials have asked for, but it was higher than the rates of mask use in several other countries, including Canada, Finland and Denmark. Still the mask police were on social media yelling about how selfish Americans are.

    A article in Men's Health from October 8th states the state with the lowest mask wearing was Wyoming at 65.6. I guess maybe we are yelling at them? Most states have over 80% compliance and many have a compliance rate of 90% or better. Massachusetts is the state with the highest number of people wearing masks, at 94.87%  This is followed by Maryland (94.18 percent), Rhode Island (93.5 percent), Connecticut (93.45 percent), and Vermont (93.31 percent). It seems to me we are doing really well at covering our faces. So who are we yelling at?

     The truth is it isn't about making someone wear a mask it's about the person doing the yelling. Sure some feel really helpless and this is a way for them to feel like they are doing something to help in this pandemic. But really, just like practically every post on social media it is to fill us with self importance. To see the likes and comments of agreement. I mean you have well over 80% or more of the population in agreement. Plus we tend to surround ourselves with only like minded people on our social media anyway. So keep on yelling WEAR THE DAMN MASK! so those likes just roll on in. I can feel that endorphin rush already. 

No, We Are Not In This Together

I have grown to hate the phrase we are in this together. All one needs to do is read Facebook or Twitter for ten seconds and you will find out this is not true.

Once again the mentality has broken down to one of two sides. Open up or lock it down until we have a cure. Unfortunately locking down until we have a cure was never the goal and states keep pushing back the open date. That alone has frustrated so many. If you even try to discuss opening up you are accused of only wanting to make a dollar and don't care about those dying. I've read posts by people say you can recover from not having a job but you cannot recover from death. My personal favorite is, maybe if you knew someone who had Covid-19 you wouldn't be so quick to reopen. Both are insults. To suggest that someone does not understand the pain of loosing someone? That they haven't entered that into their equation about reopening is just absurd and when you tell someone you can recover from a job loss is totally dismissing their pain. That somehow because they are not dealing with death that their pain is not real. Well, shame on you!

One person's pain is not lessened just because you can point to someone who has it worse. Yes we do that many times to remind ourselves about the many blessings we do have but when it's done from a outside source it's a total dismissal of the hurt that person is feeling. We make a heart shape with our hands, we cut out paper hearts and hang them in our front windows and then we dismiss the suffering of our fellow man because it's not death?. In this together? We are as long as you think like me I guess.

There has been over 88,000 deaths in the United States at the time I wrote this. That is terrible. Each one of those people left a family devastated. I get it. We all know that. There is also been 33 million people file for unemployment. Behind each of those numbers is a family suffering. But they don't matter because....death. In the United Kingdom on average 2 deaths a week happen from domestic abuse. The three weeks following lock down? Sixteen. For each of those families they are experiencing suffering but they don't matter because...death. Financial ruin, doesn't matter. Depression? Substance abuse on the rise. Who cares...it's not death. 

A recent Kaiser Family Poll nearly found that half of Americans report the coronavirus crisis is harming their mental health. A federal emergency hotline for people in emotional distress had a 1,000 percent increase in April compared with the same time last year. A online therapy company called Talkspace reported a 65 percent jump in clients since mid-February. But we dismiss anyone who wants to get back to normalcy.

Normalcy is what keeps some people hanging on. The purpose of going to work all day can mean more than a paycheck. It gives many purpose. It may keep another from returning to the bottle he finally gave up two years ago. The convict who was released last year and finally found someone who would hire him but now finds himself out of a job. I could go on. 

But if all that doesn't grab your attention maybe this will. If mental abuse, and spousal abuse is on the rise then so is child abuse. According to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, which runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline, at the end of March there was a 22% increase in monthly calls from people younger than 18. That was at the beginning of the lock down! During that time 67% identified their perpetrator as a family member and 79% said they were currently living with that perpetrator. Now, with schools closed I wonder how many of these abuses are going undetected because teachers and administrators are unable to see these children and report these crimes. Instead, these children are at home, not even able to go to the local playground and are stuck with their abusers. 

So next time you sit behind your computer being the mask police and criticize someone who wants a return to normalcy of being cold and uncaring, I think you better look into the mirror. Quit dismissing others pain because it is real and it is being felt by millions. Use your energy to care for those people. If nothing else, stop with your constant bitching about everyone else. Your constant critical posts are not going to make you approachable for when someone does need help. You have already told them their pain doesn't matter because you know....death. 

If you think someone is at immediate risk of self-harm or hurting another person:

•  Call 911 or your local emergency number.

•  Stay with the person until help arrives.

•  Remove any guns, knives, medications, or other things that may cause harm.

•  Listen, but don’t judge, argue, threaten, or yell.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, get help from a crisis or suicide prevention hotline. Try the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

www.timolson.info

Taboo Question

Can I ask a question that seems to be taboo? What is the plan for getting us back to work?  Everyday I am bombarded with social media posts praising teachers and medical workers for their efforts. As it should be. What I do not see is praise for us small business owners and the common worker for our sacrifice.

But before I go on let me make it perfectly clear that I understand that behind EVERY death because of the coronavirus there is a person, A mother, father, child, uncle or aunt. That there are people morning a death. My wife and I pray everyday for all those effected. We do not take those numbers lightly.

I also know that behind all the unemployment numbers there is a mother, father, child, uncle or aunt that is scared and worried. These are also serious situations that we cannot over look. Yet if you dare mention it you are accused of not caring about life. But the truth is at some point they had to push the life boats away from the Titanic in order to save those in them. If they let everyone in, all the life boats would sink and nobody would survive. I cannot imagine being in a life boat and looking at the faces of those who stood on the ship watching life boats push off.

Americans are great people especially during times of tragedy. We rise up and give of our time and money. Time after time we help those in need. I think that this time is no different. Americans are mostly following the shelter in place rules and are paying a price. Small business's have closed and are doing their best to retain employees. Many business have shifted from normal operations in order to keep their doors open. Restaurants who never offered carry out and delivery now do so. Some are using FaceTime to allow customers to shop from home. Automotive shops are picking up cars and bringing them back then allowing you to pay on the phone. Yes, many business owners have become creative and changed the way they do business almost overnight. These are also the business owners who are trying to keep their employees on payroll. Often dipping into their personal funds or taking on debt just to help take care of their business "family".

We don't mind the sacrifice. But the truth is we don't know what we are being asked to sacrifice. Are we being asked to give up a few weeks or maybe even a couple of  months of sales in order to save lives? I think most are okay with that. Or are we being asked to give everything we ever worked for? Are we being asked to give up our business's? Our livelihood? Are we to give up our homes and belongings? What is the plan and how much are we to give? Are we even being given a choice?

Yes the virus is real. Yes the number of deaths are real. But so are the unemployment numbers. We need to understand behind those numbers there is more than a financial toll that will need to be counted. The emotional toll will create a laundry list of unintended consequences. We have already had the suicide rate increase 33% in the United States since 1999. The highest since World War Two. Here locally domestic assault calls are on the rise. We can't let the life boats go down. At some point we have to push them away.

So again I go back to my question. We really need to know... What is the plan for getting us back to work? We need to have some hope.
 

Small Businesses Need You

Right now we are having a crisis on our hands with the Coronavirus. Whether or not we are overreacting is something to be studied at a later date but the fact is right now a lot of things are being postponed or cancelled altogether.

These cancellations may hurt some big businesses. For example I have seen how much some airlines stand to loose over the next couple of months. Most big corporations can take the hit. A lot of them are even insured for such a thing. But who isn't insured for this type of losses? The Uber driver who gets you to the airport. The porter who takes you bags. The local travel agent who booked your trip. The man or woman running a small kiosk at the airport. 

Self employed and small business owners cannot take the financial hit. We do not operate with large reserves and we need a steady stream of income to support our livelihood. When we close down even for a day the rent is still due for that day. The phone, insurance, heating and cooling, loan payments, taxes, and so on are still due. 

For those of us who employ people we need to make payroll and want to be able to keep those who work for us employed. We are the employers who actually care about our employees. They are not just another number in the payroll system.

Most small business owners are proud people. They work hard long hours and are the ones who give so much back to the communities that support them. They are struggling right now and most won't tell you how worried they are. They worried about loosing their business and are worried about supporting their families.

So, I ask you, to please help support your local small businesses. They need you more than ever right now. So many of these people have their entire life savings wrapped up in their business. They also have their heart in it as well. For so many of us our business is an extension if who we are. So buy something local. Maybe a gift card to be used at a later date. If they sell online make a purchase. Use a local service. If you know the owner, ask him/her how they are. Tell your friends about them, and let them they know they are no alone. 

College

Let me just take some time to brag about my son Brad. My son just graduated from college. He now has a degree in accounting. Now comes all those terrible school loans. Or does it? Not for our son. I can hear everyone now. Must be nice to have mom & dad pay for your education. Sorry. Wrong. He must have had scholarships. Buzz. Wrong again.

Brad paid for his own education. He worked hard starting at 16. Saved and paid cash. Never making more than $12 hr. Not even working full time. He even saved and purchased his own car during that time. The only help from mom & dad was guidance, room & board, and $1,000 for books, which if you have ever purchased books for college you know that did not go very far. Yes, it is possible to get a education and not be into crazy debt or demand that people pay higher taxes just so you can get a education. I understand that not everyone has mom and dad around to give you a place to live. My wife and I both had to support ourselves and pay for college and somehow we did it. Maybe the problem isn't with the system, although it could defiantly use some fixing but maybe it's more about us and what we demand from ourselves. College does not have to be free in order to get a education and our son is proof.

Our son already has a job in his field with good pay and benefits. He is debt free. He is on his way to living a wonderfully good life without the struggles his mom & dad had. We had those school loans so we know the struggle. We are very proud and happy and glad to know that he didn't listen to all the misinformation about how you cannot do it on your own. That the system is against you. The reality is that strong successful people find a way even if there are road blocks. Just like a football player pushing through the line. But today, everyone just wants the road blocks to be removed. Brad pushed through and now all his friends are facing large debt and he is enjoying all the extra money he is making on himself. Good job Brad!

Best Mom

     I know what your thinking. You know who the best mom in the world is. I''m sure most of you would say your mom. Well, your wrong. I'm married to her. I know because of the sacrifices she makes everyday just to be a mom.

     Everyday, before everyone else gets up she is up. She opens the blinds and curtains and lets in the sun. She has everyone's schedule in her head and is ready to make sure everyone is up and getting ready so that they can get to where they need to be. She gets everyone in order before she even gets ready herself. Her day revolves around the schedule of our children.

     Everyday she goes to work. Her office is in our home but not once has she ever taking advantage of the opportunity to work in her pajamas. She's dressed for success even when no one will see her.  She manages our business. Taking calls all day handling customers demands and of course doing more scheduling. In between she finds more time to do accounting and all other aspects of running a business. 

     Everyday she has a routine for cleaning the house. I don't know what it is except for that laundry is on Thursday. She keeps our home looking beautiful. It's mostly thankless. The kids leave for school and work and come home and everything is clean. I think they believe a fairy came and dusted while they were gone. You would think they might question why the fairy skips their room.

     Most days she cooks us supper. By now she is getting a little worn out, after all she has been going strong all day. We stuff our faces and she cleans up.

     Evening rolls around and there might be time for a 11 mile bike ride or maybe there is some errands to run. There is also planning tomorrows meal and maybe a business meeting between us to get ready for the next day. She also spends time for things the kids need. Something for school, a ear to listen and a laugh or two.

     Somewhere in the middle of all that she also finds time for me. A snuggle on the couch and conversations about our day.  I don't know how she does it. She doesn't nap and she will repeat it again tomorrow. My wife Lori, is truly the best mom out there. She sacrifices herself everyday for us and once a year we sing her some praises. That's not enough. I always loved the story "The Giving Tree". That tree gave and gave and when it thought it had nothing else to give... it still gave more. Lori gives everyday. When her head hits the pillow she feels like she has nothing else to give. But tomorrow she will get up, before everyone else, open the blinds and curtains and give some more.