Sunday, August 23, 2015

Growing Up Nobody

     "Growing Up Nobody" is the title I chose for my first book.  The book was at times an easy thing to write because it's all about my life.  I didn't need to create any characters or story lines they were all there for me.  But at the same time it was very hard to write.  It took me back to places I would rather forget.  As I wrote about the intense fighting between my dad and myself I could feel the pain from the mistreatment I would receive.  It wouldn't take long before I would feel just as I did on those nights when he would push open the door to my room and start yelling at me for being me.  I could hear the voices of the kids in school who called me names all for their own enjoyment.  I could feel the anger building up inside of me again.

     For many years I felt so much anger and anyone in the world was a part of the problem.  I felt all alone and that nobody had my back.  Even those who were closest to my situation never placed their hand out when I was knocked down.  Like a fighter in a ring who refuses to give up I would get back up to my feet.  Sometimes fast and sometimes slow, but it was done under my own power.  Even when my legs were shaking and I didn't think I had the power I got back up.  I stood up.  I looked the world in the eye and refused to accept defeat.

     You do not have to accept defeat either.  You can face the world and get up again and again.  God does not give us more than we can handle.  In our minds we do not believe we can keep on.  I know I felt that many times myself.  More than once in my life I considered ending it.  But here I stand on the other side and I can tell you, I made it!  I have blessing I would have never imagined.  I have a wife that loves me, three wonderful children, a successful business, friends and a great church community.  The trials you face can seem like a mountain.  They can seem like a long dark tunnel with no light at the other end.  But there is.  God has promised us this.  “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12) We all have that promise.  You get that promise.

     When I went through my trials I did not know God loved me.  In fact I wondered why he would let me hurt to much.  I'm sure you have asked the same question at times.  I do not know why except for I needed those trials to become the man I am today.  I guess God knew that I would make it.  That I would be better for it and that I would be able to tell me story to help encourage others.  I do just that in my book.  I opened up some wounds for all to see in hopes that someone will see a little something of themselves and begin to see that light at the end of the tunnel.  Hope is real.  God is real.  His promise is real.