‘Thoughts and Prayers’

 Again another tragedy. While most of us shake our heads and cry for those affected we find ourselves at a loss. So we give a version of  “I am so sorry for your loss,”. "You are in our thoughts and prayers". To some this is nothing more than a "I'm sorry for your loss" to others who believe in a higher power it is a powerful tool. Either way it is said out of something called empathy. Although most of us cannot even begin to understand what exactly people of a tragedy are feeling we are able to imagine their suffering and fear and to wonder how we would react in their place. It is called being compassionate.

The mocking of course starts right away. "Your thoughts and prayers are not enough!" This mocking only displays that persons lack of understanding. When people say "Thoughts and Prayers" they are reaching beyond themselves to offer some relief. Often, at the time it is the most someone can do. Especially if the tragedy is not happening in front of someone but is rather being reported from a far off location. 

When we are confronted with suffering, everybody uses familiar phrases and behaviors. They help us get through the hardest of times. When your friend tells you about their divorce. Your co-worker received bad medical news. A death or a national tragedy. It's not the words that you use that are extremely important, it is your acknowledgement and empathy that are. It is a way of showing solidarity with those who suffer.

For those who think action should be taken instead of words of compassion are denying those who cannot do anything, especially in the wake of a tragedy of expressing their compassion and empathy. Maybe those who want to deny others from expressing themselves should try practicing some compassion, empathy and grace themselves. We need more of it.  

 

Do Not Do Outrage

     In the last few days I found myself reading a post where someone was outraged. I know I'm shocked! Another scam, another lie, however you want to look at it. It is really just another way to be outraged. Since I am a fact driven person I always believe if I just point out the actual facts using data and explain where it comes from the person posting would have to acknowledge that their statement wasn't completely true. I thought long and hard before posting because I am not interested in a fight. A debate would be okay, after all...facts, but I do not want to engage in any argument. My facts were brushed off so I followed with more. That was followed by a change of argument. I posted back that that was not relevant to the original complaint and that once again the facts stand. There was no reply so I let the conversation end there.

     At lunch I received a notification that someone else posted on the conversation so I checked it out and guess what...all my comments have been deleted! Yes, my facts, provable mathematical facts had been deleted. I cannot venture to guess why my posts were removed as that would be judging. (Real judging is assigning a motive to a action without knowing what that motive is) But what did remain was more outrage. The comments that followed showed even more outrage as all the like thinking people enjoyed taking their usual positions. 

     I'm not telling you this so I can brag about my awesome factual points, although it was awesome. What caught my attention was that this person would rather be mad and outraged than even take into account the information I was providing. In fact in looking back, outrage is all I see. Social media posts have turned into nothing but angry posts about the latest outrage. What happened with the Covington School kids is a great example. I woke up and looked at my Facebook only to see everyone so outraged about these kids. (The things people called these kids was unbelievable) I looked at a few videos and within 10 minutes I knew there was more to the story and decided I needed to wait for more information before forming an opinion about it. 

     In 1979 "The Logical Song" was picked as Paul McCartney's favorite song and I think that a lot of it still rings true to this day. "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful" sang Roger Hodgson. "But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible, Logical, oh responsible, practical" He went on to sing about how they made him dependable. All very good things. But then it takes a turn. "I said, watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical, Liberal, oh fanatical, criminal." Then worse yet, "Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel your acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!" 

     I think we have fallen into the later part of the song only we are the one's who want to make sure that your acceptable, respectable and presentable. We feel we need to right every wrong by posting about how WE believe this is a travesty. The sad part is we have not formed our own opinions. We have become Pavlov's dog jumping on every outrageous injustice. We somehow believe our yelling helps. But it only adds. It helps light fires you don't always see. Instead of being a positive light we throw fuel on the flames and if you don't agree, well then. your just not acceptable.

     We signed our name to a team that makes us feel acceptable but we really are bunch of vegetables. We follow the orders and react without thought of our actions. You can't keep that up. You cannot react and scream about everything we see that is wrong. It would be a full time job and for so many it has turned into one. So many of the people I know on Facebook post more news articles and political memes than they do about their friends or family. Boy I wish I would see a huge burger post again! 

        "The Logical Song" also has the lyrics, "But at night, when all the worlds asleep, The questions run so deep, For such a simple man. Won't you please tell me what I've learned, I know it sounds absurd, PLEASE TELL ME WHO I AM" I think we have lost who we are. So many of us have become Grandpa Simpson yelling and complaining about everything and we don't even see it. We don't even realize what we have become. We believe yelling wins an argument over debate. We believe only our answer is the answer. We scream about compassion while screaming shows none. We step on others while claiming to love all. All because we love the rush, the acceptance, and the superiority of the outrage. 

     Join me, and lets stop the outrage. Leave your team. Discover yourself. Get to know YOU! Break the chains and be a leader. So many are living in the dark, be a shinning light. Teach what you know and learn what you don't. Hold each other up. Listen more than you talk. Do these simple things and maybe just maybe you will notice "the birds in the tree's well they'd be singing so happily, oh, joyfully watching" you.   

www.timolson.info
www.facebook.com/Timo2Funky
www.Twitter.com/Timo2Funky

Trump's Effect

     Over the past few days social media is again ablaze with outrage. This time it's over how some teen boys reacted to...well you know. This post is not related to this one incident.

     I really don't even know where to start with this as I cannot even understand where we are as a country. In fact I just wrote a bunch of stuff and then backed up and started here again. I think the thing I struggle the most is with judgement. Although I have had many non Christians try to tell me that the Bible says not to judge that just simply is not true. By the way, instead of just repeating what others have said, try to study the Bible before you use it to argue against someone. You wouldn't argue with a architect without understanding something about architecture would you? Good. Hopefully I just saved you from looking like a fool. The Bible does tell us to judge but here is what so many get wrong about judgement. Judging someone's actions are fine and good. Judging someone's heart is wrong. In other words, someone steals bread. Wrong. Someone steals bread to feed his family? His actions are still wrong even if his heart was in the right place, and the worst judgement is when you assign the motive to their actions without knowing what it was. 

     Today everyone seems to know the heart of everyone else. Sometimes actions may look like one thing but where their heart is, is another. I find it mind blowing that everyone seems to know, without question, the heart of others. Because they are so sure they then feel justified in calling out, shaming and even destroying said person. In fact we have become so effective at discerning someone's heart that we need not be present. We need not know those involved. We need not know anyone who was present. We need not do any research. We just need to be told by our like thinking friends, news source, websites, and social media what to be outraged about and then we pick up our pitch forks and post!

     The worst part about Trump's being elected is how we have reacted to his presidency. I have watched people I used to think were great, fine, smart individuals turn into the most hateful, angry, mean spirited people. Before you say, "Hey Timo! Are you judging?" Yes, I'm judging actions. I have watched these people take down others, some longtime friends. I have listened to and read posts that are so full of hatred for others for simply having another point of view. Everyday full of outrage and bitterness. I myself have been the focal point of these attacks. I was even attacked for suggesting we take a break from politics. How dare me! 

     I have watched and I cry for my children as I think is this what we really want to leave them? Is this what we want to model for them? I for one do not. So I do not engage in this childlike behavior. I sit back and take notes. Trump will be out of office someday and his role in my life and yours will be gone. I will forget about Trump, but I will not forget the actions of those I know. I will not forget how I witnessed you treat others. How you judged the heart of others. The names you used. How you behaved. I know you feel justified. I know you feel as your fighting the good fight, but there is no nobility in taking someone down to elevate another. I will be judging, your character, and the true effect of Trump's presidency is that it will take me a lot longer to get over and forget your actions than those of the president.

Tim Olson

www.timolson.info

www.facebook.com/Timo2Funky

www.twitter.com/Timo2Funky

Growing Up Nobody

     "Growing Up Nobody" is the title I chose for my first book.  The book was at times an easy thing to write because it's all about my life.  I didn't need to create any characters or story lines they were all there for me.  But at the same time it was very hard to write.  It took me back to places I would rather forget.  As I wrote about the intense fighting between my dad and myself I could feel the pain from the mistreatment I would receive.  It wouldn't take long before I would feel just as I did on those nights when he would push open the door to my room and start yelling at me for being me.  I could hear the voices of the kids in school who called me names all for their own enjoyment.  I could feel the anger building up inside of me again.

     For many years I felt so much anger and anyone in the world was a part of the problem.  I felt all alone and that nobody had my back.  Even those who were closest to my situation never placed their hand out when I was knocked down.  Like a fighter in a ring who refuses to give up I would get back up to my feet.  Sometimes fast and sometimes slow, but it was done under my own power.  Even when my legs were shaking and I didn't think I had the power I got back up.  I stood up.  I looked the world in the eye and refused to accept defeat.

     You do not have to accept defeat either.  You can face the world and get up again and again.  God does not give us more than we can handle.  In our minds we do not believe we can keep on.  I know I felt that many times myself.  More than once in my life I considered ending it.  But here I stand on the other side and I can tell you, I made it!  I have blessing I would have never imagined.  I have a wife that loves me, three wonderful children, a successful business, friends and a great church community.  The trials you face can seem like a mountain.  They can seem like a long dark tunnel with no light at the other end.  But there is.  God has promised us this.  “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12) We all have that promise.  You get that promise.

     When I went through my trials I did not know God loved me.  In fact I wondered why he would let me hurt to much.  I'm sure you have asked the same question at times.  I do not know why except for I needed those trials to become the man I am today.  I guess God knew that I would make it.  That I would be better for it and that I would be able to tell me story to help encourage others.  I do just that in my book.  I opened up some wounds for all to see in hopes that someone will see a little something of themselves and begin to see that light at the end of the tunnel.  Hope is real.  God is real.  His promise is real.
 

Love and Grace

Friday.

The work week is done. I'm glad.

As usual I'm bothered by all the hate and division between us. All that negativity sucks the life out of this glass half full guy. It does not matter what your position is on a subject, encouraging and celebrating others misfortune or destruction is disgusting. When we see someone who is given lemons try to make lemonade we no longer applaud them when they do. We hope they add salt instead of sugar just so we can... I don't know feel better about ourselves. I know, I've been guilty of it too. I do not know what it will take but I hope we can return to a time where we start treating each other with love. Love does not mean you accept and agree with everything someone says or does. What it does mean is that you show them grace no matter what faults they may have because, yes, we all are imperfect and need a love full of grace. I hope we can all find that grace in our hearts and lift each other up instead of cheering for destruction.