College

Let me just take some time to brag about my son Brad. My son just graduated from college. He now has a degree in accounting. Now comes all those terrible school loans. Or does it? Not for our son. I can hear everyone now. Must be nice to have mom & dad pay for your education. Sorry. Wrong. He must have had scholarships. Buzz. Wrong again.

Brad paid for his own education. He worked hard starting at 16. Saved and paid cash. Never making more than $12 hr. Not even working full time. He even saved and purchased his own car during that time. The only help from mom & dad was guidance, room & board, and $1,000 for books, which if you have ever purchased books for college you know that did not go very far. Yes, it is possible to get a education and not be into crazy debt or demand that people pay higher taxes just so you can get a education. I understand that not everyone has mom and dad around to give you a place to live. My wife and I both had to support ourselves and pay for college and somehow we did it. Maybe the problem isn't with the system, although it could defiantly use some fixing but maybe it's more about us and what we demand from ourselves. College does not have to be free in order to get a education and our son is proof.

Our son already has a job in his field with good pay and benefits. He is debt free. He is on his way to living a wonderfully good life without the struggles his mom & dad had. We had those school loans so we know the struggle. We are very proud and happy and glad to know that he didn't listen to all the misinformation about how you cannot do it on your own. That the system is against you. The reality is that strong successful people find a way even if there are road blocks. Just like a football player pushing through the line. But today, everyone just wants the road blocks to be removed. Brad pushed through and now all his friends are facing large debt and he is enjoying all the extra money he is making on himself. Good job Brad!

Best Mom

     I know what your thinking. You know who the best mom in the world is. I''m sure most of you would say your mom. Well, your wrong. I'm married to her. I know because of the sacrifices she makes everyday just to be a mom.

     Everyday, before everyone else gets up she is up. She opens the blinds and curtains and lets in the sun. She has everyone's schedule in her head and is ready to make sure everyone is up and getting ready so that they can get to where they need to be. She gets everyone in order before she even gets ready herself. Her day revolves around the schedule of our children.

     Everyday she goes to work. Her office is in our home but not once has she ever taking advantage of the opportunity to work in her pajamas. She's dressed for success even when no one will see her.  She manages our business. Taking calls all day handling customers demands and of course doing more scheduling. In between she finds more time to do accounting and all other aspects of running a business. 

     Everyday she has a routine for cleaning the house. I don't know what it is except for that laundry is on Thursday. She keeps our home looking beautiful. It's mostly thankless. The kids leave for school and work and come home and everything is clean. I think they believe a fairy came and dusted while they were gone. You would think they might question why the fairy skips their room.

     Most days she cooks us supper. By now she is getting a little worn out, after all she has been going strong all day. We stuff our faces and she cleans up.

     Evening rolls around and there might be time for a 11 mile bike ride or maybe there is some errands to run. There is also planning tomorrows meal and maybe a business meeting between us to get ready for the next day. She also spends time for things the kids need. Something for school, a ear to listen and a laugh or two.

     Somewhere in the middle of all that she also finds time for me. A snuggle on the couch and conversations about our day.  I don't know how she does it. She doesn't nap and she will repeat it again tomorrow. My wife Lori, is truly the best mom out there. She sacrifices herself everyday for us and once a year we sing her some praises. That's not enough. I always loved the story "The Giving Tree". That tree gave and gave and when it thought it had nothing else to give... it still gave more. Lori gives everyday. When her head hits the pillow she feels like she has nothing else to give. But tomorrow she will get up, before everyone else, open the blinds and curtains and give some more.

Trump's Effect

     Over the past few days social media is again ablaze with outrage. This time it's over how some teen boys reacted to...well you know. This post is not related to this one incident.

     I really don't even know where to start with this as I cannot even understand where we are as a country. In fact I just wrote a bunch of stuff and then backed up and started here again. I think the thing I struggle the most is with judgement. Although I have had many non Christians try to tell me that the Bible says not to judge that just simply is not true. By the way, instead of just repeating what others have said, try to study the Bible before you use it to argue against someone. You wouldn't argue with a architect without understanding something about architecture would you? Good. Hopefully I just saved you from looking like a fool. The Bible does tell us to judge but here is what so many get wrong about judgement. Judging someone's actions are fine and good. Judging someone's heart is wrong. In other words, someone steals bread. Wrong. Someone steals bread to feed his family? His actions are still wrong even if his heart was in the right place, and the worst judgement is when you assign the motive to their actions without knowing what it was. 

     Today everyone seems to know the heart of everyone else. Sometimes actions may look like one thing but where their heart is, is another. I find it mind blowing that everyone seems to know, without question, the heart of others. Because they are so sure they then feel justified in calling out, shaming and even destroying said person. In fact we have become so effective at discerning someone's heart that we need not be present. We need not know those involved. We need not know anyone who was present. We need not do any research. We just need to be told by our like thinking friends, news source, websites, and social media what to be outraged about and then we pick up our pitch forks and post!

     The worst part about Trump's being elected is how we have reacted to his presidency. I have watched people I used to think were great, fine, smart individuals turn into the most hateful, angry, mean spirited people. Before you say, "Hey Timo! Are you judging?" Yes, I'm judging actions. I have watched these people take down others, some longtime friends. I have listened to and read posts that are so full of hatred for others for simply having another point of view. Everyday full of outrage and bitterness. I myself have been the focal point of these attacks. I was even attacked for suggesting we take a break from politics. How dare me! 

     I have watched and I cry for my children as I think is this what we really want to leave them? Is this what we want to model for them? I for one do not. So I do not engage in this childlike behavior. I sit back and take notes. Trump will be out of office someday and his role in my life and yours will be gone. I will forget about Trump, but I will not forget the actions of those I know. I will not forget how I witnessed you treat others. How you judged the heart of others. The names you used. How you behaved. I know you feel justified. I know you feel as your fighting the good fight, but there is no nobility in taking someone down to elevate another. I will be judging, your character, and the true effect of Trump's presidency is that it will take me a lot longer to get over and forget your actions than those of the president.

Tim Olson

www.timolson.info

www.facebook.com/Timo2Funky

www.twitter.com/Timo2Funky

Sometimes being a Dad sucks

     So often you get on the internet and you find blogs about the joys of parenthood.  You read about all the joys of having kids and yes it's all true.  My kids give me more joy than I could have ever imagined.  Laying down my life for them in not even a question.  They have made me laugh harder than any comedian or movie ever has.  But at the same time they have brought tears to my eyes.  Yes at times they have done things that hurt me or disappointed me. Worse than that is when they hurt because life is hard and you cannot shield them from the pain.

     Four years ago my wife Lori and I brought home the cutest puppy.  Our kids had been asking for a dog for a while and we would look at them from time to time.  It was a very hard decision for us as we don't have a lot of family to help us care for him.  We knew we were giving up weekend getaways that we regularly enjoyed.  We would have to make visits to friends and family short so we could get home to let him out.  But on that day we saw our little brown ball of fur and we knew we needed to bring him home.  We told all the kids to sit on the couch as we had a surprise.  He stayed quite and we placed him on the living room floor.  We told them to open their eyes and the look on their faces were priceless.  He ran over to them and tried to jump on the couch but it was too high.  We told them to pick him up and my oldest picked him up and started to cry.  Love at first sight is possible.  He tried to hide the tears and he did a good job but I saw them on the video replay.  He was so small, brown with one white paw.  I called him Buster brown on the way home and the name stuck.

    Over the years Buster became such a huge part of our lives.  He was our shared love and joy.  He made us laugh when a lonely fart would sneak out and scare him.  We loved watching him as he would try to bury his rawhide bones in the couch.  He would entertain us when I would give him a empty 20 oz pop bottle that I would tightened the cap on making the bottle have no give.  He would try to pick it up only to have it shoot out of his mouth and across the floor.  He would chase it and do it again.  But most of all he loved us.  He would greet all of us at the door.  He would lick each and every one of us as we came into the house.  He always wanted to be close to us and his favorite was his "mama".  He loved my wife and spent most of his time curled up next to her.

     My oldest son referred to him as his best friend.  So when Buster started to act a little strange we became concerned.  He acted like it hurt to pee.  We called the vet and they couldn't see him until the next day.  A bladder infection was what we thought as he started peeing in the house but soon he wasn't going at all.  We would take him out and he would try but nothing would happen.  About four in the morning he started crying and barking.  We tried to comfort him.  By seven Lori took him to the vet and he was making the worst sounds.  Moaning like a person.  We never would have thought that within eight hours he wouldn't be with us any longer.

     At about 2 pm Lori called me at work and I came home fast.  The x-rays were in and the news wasn't good.  We had to act fast because he had a bladder stone in his urinary tract that was blocking his urine and if we didn't do something soon it would explode.  The vet had never seen such a big stone for such a small dog.  It was the size for a lab, not a 20 pound dog.  He could not give any guarantee that anything we did would help.

     We sat the kids down and explained to them what was going on.  We could do all the things the vet said and try to save him or we could let him go.  Trying meant thousands of dollars with the slimmest chance it would work.  It was the hardest conversation we have ever had.  I just couldn't look at my kids, their eyes were so full of tears.  Wetting their shirts as they rolled off their faces.  Nobody would answer us.  So Lori and I told them that we think its best to let him go but that if any of them want to try to save him we will.  Finally my oldest spoke up and said three words I will never forget him saying.  "Put him down"  It had to be the hardest thing he ever did.  In saying that he knew his best friend was no longer going to be with us.

     Lori and I looked at each other and she asked me to call the vet as tears filled her eyes.  I said OK.  We walked downstairs to my office and I told her that I didn't think I could say the words.  I knew that by calling I will be giving the orders to have our dog put down and to never return.  I knew that making that call would put into motion hurt for all of us.  I did not want to do it.  There are times you have to man up and take it for everyone else.  I told Lori that I will pay what ever it takes if  the result of what I was about to do meant that someone would hate me.  She said I love you and I know you would.  I walked back and forth crossing the floor gathering my thoughts and holding back the tears. I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

     When I hung up the phone I broke into tears and told her we needed to go say goodbye.  We called the kids downstairs and we gathered for prayer.  I lead us in a prayer asking for Busters suffering to be over.  For us and our hurt.  Our broken hearts.  I hugged everyone and we gathered ourselves and drove in silence to the vet.

     We arrived and they brought Buster out.  They had him in pain medication but the way he walked you could tell he was still in some pain.  They took us to a back room and left us to say good bye. Lori and the kids took time petting him.  He walked around confused and never licked any of us.  I stood watching my family have it's heart broken unable to do anything.  Their tears triggered mine. They all kept petting him and telling him how much they loved him.

     I finally got down on the floor to say good bye.  I pet him for a second and then I put my head down on him and all the hurt that I was holding back opened up and I cried like I never have in front of everyone.  I was a slobbering baby.  My furry buddy was about to die and my wife and kid's hearts were being split in two.  My protection mode was going but there was not a thing I could do.  There was no way for me to prevent the events of the day.  My mind raced, I bargained, I pleaded, and I could do nothing.

     Yes my children are wonderful.  They are the most special and important thing in my life.  I do understand that someday the wound will have healed.  I also understand that if used right this situation will make us stronger as individuals and as a family.  But my protective side hurts for now,  Having to make that call, having to tell my kids such hurtful news, and not being able to protect from the situation makes me realize that sometimes it sucks being a Dad.